Revised:Reliving a Monologue

"I'm only thirteen and my momma is always screaming at me telling me 'Keyshia do this, Keyshia do that'. Little do she know her man is whispering 'Keyshia come here'. He would wake me up in the middle of the night just so his pleasures can be fulfilled, and sometimes he wouldn't wait that long. I would kick and scream, and beg him to leave me alone. I would scream out 'Mammmmma!’. Only forgetting that she's not, or should I say never at home. You know, I wish my daddy wasn't in jail. Maybe he could save me, but I can only do so much that he goes against my will and take advantage of me anyway. It hurts so bad sometimes that I can't even close my legs, and it's even more worse how my momma don't even know I lost my virginity to a man she put her trust in. He put all these sorts of thoughts into my head telling me that no one loves me. Not even my own momma. That's the reason I don't like going to school. I get into numerous of fights, I'm always in the guidance counselor office, and I'm known as the girl with a bad attitude. Hey, but what do you suspect when I never get respected? Besides, I'm the one that have to live this life for the rest of my life.”, Keyshia said sadly while wrapping up her monologue.The audience applauded with a jubilant sound as the play ended. Hearing the cheers, seeing the smiles, and being the center of attention did not move Keyshia at all. All she could think about is going home on Thanksgiving Day, and actually re-live her monologue mentally. She hadn't seen her stepfather in thirteen years ever since he went to war, and she wasn't too eager to see him neither."You think your momma is gonna to believe you? She don't love you, she loves me...", Keyshia remembers while walking home late.Not knowing what to do on Thanksgiving left Keyshia clueless, but scared since she does not have any family. There was nothing else to think about while she walked in the cold down Madison Street. It was so dark that she couldn't even see her own dark skin. Her curly jet black hair became frozen. Her face was turning red, and her pink sports jacket wasn't keeping her warm. The streets were semi-empty because everyone was in the house eating with their family. The horns of taxi drivers were set off every fifteen minutes, but it didn’t bother Keyshia. Seeing the Christmas lights blinking across the street at an expensive condo with a fifteen by eighteen balcony made Keyshia ponder about the perfect family she saw eating together at their hardwood table."OK snap out of Keyshia! You are twenty-three now. You determine how to spend your thanksgiving. Stop thinking about your stepfather.", she said to herself while putting the keys into the door at her studio home.As she opens her brown wooded door, she notices how the house flooded with darkness. A huge gust of cold air ran out of her house. She wanted to turn on the heat, but she was too afraid that something or someone, like her stepfather, would pop out and attack her. She drops her Chanel purse, that was now torn and dirty because her dog, Kimmy, thought it was her dog toy, by the door. She walks slowly to the living room full of fear. While turning to turn on the light switch, she hears something moving behind her. "Calm down Keyshia it's only Kimmy", she says to herself while going to the heater to turn on the heat. Keyshia then turns on the heater and notices that her Chanel purse is on the couch. While breathing heavily, her heart begins to pound against her chest. She freaks out, but remembers that her mom always told her that Jesus is watching her. She touches the gold cross around her neck which gave her little comfort. She begins to think positive thoughts. She remembers when her mom gave her the cross for Christmas a year before she was killed in a plane crash."Somebody’s watching my Lord, Kumba ya...", Keyshia sings while walking quickly to lock all her doors, and close all her windows."Somebody is watching you Kumba ya...", a deep voice sings while walking through the back door.Keyshia quickly picks up her target broom, and holds it tightly upside down as if she was on Star Wars the Movie."Who is it?", she nervously ask." Well if it ain't my step daughter Keyshia. All scared, lonely, and naive just like her mommy.", her stepfather said while walking in looking like a black Hitler with army clothing on. "" Get out!!!!! Why are you here?!?!?!", Keyshia says angrily."I came to see you, and tell you how much I miss you. You know both of us can't ever forget what happened. Now that you are older we can somehow bond even more."
"Get out before I call the police!""With what phone? I cut them all off before I came. Now come here and give papa some sugar""No! You will not touch me!!!!!"Keyshia's stepfather walks slowly towards her and throws her to the ground. Because she is weak, she is not strong enough to fight back.She kicks and screams and begs him to leave her alone. She screams out "Mammmma!". Only forgetting that she's not, or should I say never at home. You know, she wishes her daddy wasn't in jail. Maybe he could save her, but she can only do so much that he goes against her will and takes advantage of her...even thirteen years later.

What's there to change?

One thing I wish I can change about myself is my weakness for becoming emotional attached to people. I really hate becoming close to people because if something was to ever happen to them or we never talked anymore, then I would go crazy. Like I would cry my eyes out, and become really sad. It's like when I become emotionally attached to someone my feelings and emotions become strong for them. I mean they are ultra strong, and that is the reason I do not usually open up to people, and it usually takes me a longer time to become close to someone. My emotions and feelings become so strong that I can't control how I feel about a person. (Usually only applies to males)However, I can't change that weakness about myself, so I will just have to cope with it and pray about it.

Who will I invite?

If I had to pick three people to invite to dinner, the first person I would choose to come would be my dad. I want to know how he looks, how many more sister I have(I do have other sisters), what he sounds like, what he smells like, what's his full name, what characteristics or talents did I get from him, or did he know that I even existed? Then I would share the adventure of my whole life and how him not being in my life made me a stronger person. If I ever ate dinner with my father I think It would be the most happiest and thrilling time of my whole life. For the first time I will have someone to fill up the space in my heart, the space I was waiting for a random guy to fill, and I will actually have someone who I can finally call " my daddy".
The second person I would Invite would be Obama because he is intelligent, handsome, and has a way with words. It would be amazing to sit down with a black man who is about to be or should I say will be the president. I would ask him a lot of questions about himself and his family. I wouldn't even mind if his wife and two daughters came because I would have a lot of questions for all of them. I would try to get to know Obama and his family so well, that he can start inviting me over his house, or I could babysit his daughters, or they could say I'm a really close friend of the family.
The last person I would want to bring is my long lost half older sister/s. I would ask her if she knew that I existed , and then I would want to know her deepest, darkest secrets. I would also want to know if she is as sensitive, feminine, confused, and goofy as me or if she is into sports and guys. I would like to know what college she attends, where she lives, or what do she do for a living . Basically, I would just ask her questions that would bring us closer to knowing each other better...

A typical day in my new house

Not to long ago I moved into a new house on Pulaski. It was a huge change moving from Adams street to Pulaski because the neighborhood was just becoming a better place to live. The neighborhood I am in now is really bad and ghetto, but the house I am living in changes my perspective of the neighborhood. Sometimes I forget that I even live in a bad neighborhood with crackheads, and drug dealers.The new home I am in now is really big. There are five bedrooms, a basement, a garage, two and half bathrooms, and a back yard. I now have my own room which I thought would be exciting, but it is not so exciting anymore because there is nothing to do. I come home from school and it is only my mom who is happy (a little bit too happy) to see me because she has been at home all day. I drop my book bag off at my room and go down stairs to try to find something to eat. I do my homework and then if it is not around eight o'clock then I listen to music.
When it becomes night outside all I hear is guys screaming to the top of their lungs about how another guy cheated them out of their money on a game of dice. Then I hear my momma screaming on the phone to people about something not working inside the house and then I hear my little sister yelling, " shut up...you stupid...shut yo big head up...OK what ever!...". Basically, I can say that my house and neighborhood is really noisy, but around ten o'clock or eleven everything dies down.
When I wake up in the morning, I prepare myself for school. I turn on the light to see what I am going to wear, but one thing I noticed about the lights are that they are really dim in the morning, but really bright at night. We have so many lights in my house it is crazy. My mom said if we were to turn on every light in my house you would think it was a light festivle going on. She always screams at me when I have my room light on, the bathroom light on, and my closet light on, but I don't care because I'm not the one who has to pay the bill(Don't tell my momma I said that).

Are myths really unrealistic?

Have you ever heard of a myth stating that you shouldn't eat beans after nine because they give you bad dreams? Like other people I didn't believe the stupid myth, but I did after the night I couldn't wake myself up from falling. I was around the age of thirteen or fourteen and my mom cooked dinner really late. She gave us beans knowing that we didn't like beans at all, so one night she gave me a bowl full of beans. Since I didn't like beans it took me along time to eat them. By the time I was done it was around ten o'clock pm. I went to bed really tired and still could taste the after taste of the disgusting beans. Once I was fully knocked out I had this dream that I was in this beautiful forest. Everything was so colorful and there were beautiful flowers and animals. The fruits were shiny and delicious, and I remembered seeing myself skipping around full of joy. About ten feet away from me I saw the most beautiful water fall ever. I skipped to it and decided to let myself fall into the water. Slowly, I was falling gracefully, but then I kept falling. All of a sudden everything around me went pitch black. I was still falling and then I thought maybe if I wake myself up maybe it would all be over, but the scary part was that I couldn't wake myself up. When I tried waking myself up it felt like something was holding me down.
I had to wake myself up before I hit the ground. I heard this myth that you could die in your sleep from falling and, so my goal was to wake up. I kept forcing myself to wake up, but I couldn't and then after numerous of tries I finally woke up panicking. I was breathing really hard and sweating. Two days later I had the dream again only this time I was already laying on the ground. The most wired part of this dream was that I saw myself dead and I saw the real me standing over my own dead body. You would think I tried waking myself up, but I didn't. Instead I wanted to see how I looked dead, and I wanted to see what was going to happen next. The scene changed again and this time I was on top of a huge rock just like how it was on lion king except it was really dark and it was only my dead body and me. I can't remember much, but what I do remember is I started crying over my body and then I woke up crying.
That was the most creepy thing I ever experienced. When I told my friend in elementary about my dream, he told me how he believed his grandma died from the same dream. He said it started off as her having a dream when she was falling, but she woke herself up before she fell to the ground. When she woke up she told him about the story of her falling. The next day she died and till this day he believe that she died in her sleep from falling...

Christmas memory

A Christmas memory I had was during last year Christmas eve. I remember going to sleep around 8 o'clock so I could get up really early,but before I went to sleep I remember hearing my older brother coming in the door from Champaign. I was so excited that Christmas was the next day that I couldn't go to sleep,so I turned on the radio and turned to 93.9 and listen to Christmas music till about 11:00pm. I finally fell asleep on the floor. I would sleep on the floor,so that I can tip-toe out of my room and go to the Christmas tree to see what I had received. Well soon I woke up around 1pm full of enthusiastic joy. The house was quite, so quite I was able to hear my every movement. I slowly opened my door that creaked a lot. I walked out and saw the Christmas tree lighting the living room and the windows filled with ice. I carefully walk pass my mom room and made my way to the tree. As I get the living room my heart beats faster and faster. Suddenly, I notice that their isn't any gifts laying around. I sadly turn around and go back into my room. I do the routine all over again, and this time I wake up at 4pm. Once again I make my way to the living room and surprisely I see the gifts laying all over the floor. I was so happy. I knew which section was mine because I asked for clothes and games. So I joyfully sat by my gifts and begin to scrutinize them. This was the most memorial Christmas I can remember.

The best movie of all time is...(revised #1)

The best movie of all time is "Enough". Oh my gosh! Mrs.Avink I fell in love with this movie when I first saw it. The first time I saw it is when I went into radio shack and it was playing on the T.V. I was so addicted to the movie that my mom had to literally grab me from in front of the television. I love this movie because it's very suspenseful and has a lot of intresting conflicts in it. What makes it even better is that Jennifer Lopez plays in the movie and she is a really good actress. My favorite part out of the whole movie is when she finally fought back at the end of the movie. At first she would allow her husband to abuse her and do whatever he liked. Then she couldn't take the abuse anymore so she fought back with all the strength she had. I love when women fight back. It's shows that they will not let anyone control them or make them feel like trash. The movie also made me cry because it hurt how a man can hit a women and don't regret it. It's just crazy, but if you haven't seen the movie I recommend you and anyone else to rent the movie. Many women should take heed of the movie and learn something from it.